Direction 1: BLAST! Bored. Lonely. Angry. Stressed. Tired. Those 5 ingredients are triggers for temptation to come in and take over. While I've always felt and known that coming out to California was the right thing to do, it has not been easy. I was only able to find 1 part-time job. Money-wise, it's hard but not impossible. Time-wise, it's even harder. I only work 4 hours/day in the afternoon...so that leaves all morning free. Sounds like a charmed life, right? Not really, not when you're me, at least. I'm a DOER. I love to be doing things and quite honestly, there's only so much to do in the mornings. I can only go wander around the mall so many times (because I inevitably end up spending money), watch so many movies, go to the temple so often. So that leaves time for BLAST to set in. Let me tell you now, do not allow yourself to be found bored, lonely, angry, stressed, or tired. Satan knows how to work against your weaknesses and he knows how to help you "justify in committing a little sin" (2 Nephi 28:8). I've experienced this all too frequently lately, and it is not worth it.
Direction 2: "Just keep swimming..." I got to teach Relief Society last week on Elder Robert D. Hales' talk from April 2012 General Conference titled, "Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple, and Sacrifice in Service." At one point in the talk he says, "No blessings will be withheld if we faithfully endure in walking the path back to our Heavenly Father." Heavenly Father doesn't care how fast we are moving or how steep of a hill we are climbing, he just wants us to keep going, keep moving, keep climbing, because as soon as we stop, Satan has better aim.
Direction 3: Excitement/Anticipation/Getting ready to move to Vegas! Sometimes when I think about it too much, I get overwhelmed or paralyzed at the thought of all I should be doing, but then I realize that there's not a whole lot I can do yet, so I just have to stop my mind and take a break from over-analyzing the big changes coming up for me. However, in preparation for what I will be doing out there, I just finished reading The Freedom Writers Diary and it was incredible. I highly recommend it or the movie :)
Direction 4: Missionary work. The only people I know in this town are my friends from church and the kids I work with. Since it would not be appropriate for me to directly share the gospel at work, I've been praying for other ways to relight the fire that I once had. Last week, I was blessed with multiple opportunities to very easily and naturally let the kids know that I'm a Mormon. For example, one girl mentioned that she saw me on her street and asked what I was doing and I replied, "I was passing out flyers for a canned food drive at my church." The door opened right up for her to ask what church I went to, to which I could give my response. I may not be able to tell them a whole lot more than that at work, nor am I allowed to have communication with them outside of work, but just having them know what my religion is will hopefully leave a good impression on them and a seed can be planted for the future.
Direction 5: Service. Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to go down to Sacramento and help participate in the Mormon Helping Hands statewide day of service. All the congregations throughout the state of California volunteered thousands of man hours volunteering in various community service projects. We held a canned food drive here along with various park clean-ups and school clean-ups. In Sacramento, over 2000 people spent several hours cleaning up a downtown high school. We all donned the signature yellow Helping Hands jerseys and did everything from cutting ivy out of the dugout to painting the curbs. Everywhere you looked, there were crowds of people cleaning or fixing something. Dead branches were being cut down and hauled out, windows were washed, weeds were pulled, flowers and trees were planted, gum was scraped off every sidewalk and I LOVED it! It was just what I needed, something productive to keep me busy! :) When they handed me the yellow jersey, I felt so honored to be a part of it. As I put it on, I realized that this was the first time since my mission that I've been allowed to wear the name of the Church on my clothing, and it felt good. We were doing something for a good cause and getting our name out there in a positive light.
I think that's enough directions for now. I tried to mainly focus on the positive, mostly to remind myself that even in the hardest of times, there is plenty of good to be found.
Maybe the length of this post proves I should blog more often... :)
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