Kids and Pirates

Kids are EVERYWHERE!  All over facebook, my friends are having babies.  Instagram has cute pictures of my nieces and nephews.  I feel like the world is self-populating.  Oh well.  And I'm just chillin here in Vegas, learning how to talk like...well, a kid.

I hang out with kids all day.  Thirteen and fourteen year olds, to be exact.  Sometimes they get confused on how they want to be treated because let's face it, they're in that weird age between wanting to be a grown up and still wanting to be a kid.  But I'm ok with that.  I will let them bounce back and forth as they please.  As much as I try to teach them how to be a responsible adult, I don't want them to grow up too fast.  That's just sad.

It makes me think of Peter Pan, my all-time favorite story.  My dad used to always tell me that the secret to staying young was to remain perpetually excited about things, even if they were the most mundane of tasks.  So every day (well, almost every day), I greet my kids at the door with the biggest smile you could ever imagine.  They usually look at me like I'm crazy, but I'm ok with that.  I like to see my kids, and I want them to know that just because you grow up, doesn't mean you have to be a pirate...or something like that.

My kids.  I am very humbled every time I realize the greatness of the responsibility I have to be a teacher to so many young minds.  Five days a week, I teach people's kids.  Joke with their kids.  Console their kids.  Praise their kids.  Question their kids.  Beat my head against the wall about their kids.  Gush over their kids.  Laugh with their kids.  Worry about their kids.  Keep an eye on their kids.  Learn about their kids.  Invest in their kids.  Protect their kids.  And love their kids.  Their kids truly become a part of my life and I feel that in some way, they are my kids.  As President Uchtdorf said in reference to a woman who was a teacher but longed to be a mother, "The Lord had given her an opportunity few people have -- the chance to influence for good the lives of hundreds of children and families as a teacher." (Click Here)

I don't know if I will ever have kids of my own.  I'd like to but who knows?  For the time being, the Lord has blessed me with 180+ of the most amazing kids I could think of, and I couldn't be happier.  They frustrate the heck out of me sometimes but then they turn around and amaze me with their courage and ability to pick themselves up and keep going.  I learn so much from them every day...not to mention they are keeping me from turning into a pirate myself.

Movies to Watch This Christmas Season...

(If you think of any others or have any of these that you would be willing to let me borrow, please let me know :)

1. It's a Wonderful Life
2. Elf
3. Muppet Christmas Carol
4. Last Holiday
5. Scrooge
6. Miracle on 34th Street
7. The Grinch
8. Home Alone
9. Nightmare Before Christmas
10. The Santa Clause
11. The Holiday
12. Mickey's Christmas Carol
13. A Charlie Brown Christmas
14. Chronicles of Narnia
15. Polar Express

Home?

I thought that moving to Vegas would be my long lost answer to finding something a little more permanent in my life.  I suppose in some ways it has, but in other ways it has simply illuminated a more stark contrast to the voids I had either simply been ignoring or I didn't know were there.

Who ever came up with the phrase, "Home is where the heart is" anyway?  My heart isn't really anywhere.  Part of it is where my family is, part of it is where my job is, and part of it is where I left it 6 years ago with the community that raised me.  I suppose I'm still in very much the same conundrum that  I was a year and a half ago when I wrote my song Stability.  Hmmm...

THANKS. GIVING. IS HERE!

Sorry, my post title is an old joke from my mission, and I don't think I will ever get tired of it.  :)

There are a couple of things that I am particularly grateful for this year because of the interesting and unique challenges I've been facing over the last year of my life.

• My job.  I love everything about my job.  I have truly found my bliss.  My kids are crazy, but so am I, so it works.  My 8th graders are rough kids (e.g. my student of the month for September was in Juvenile Hall the day of the awards) but I wouldn't have it any other way because the changes are that much more important for them.  I'm seeing those changes now.  I'm seeing students advocate for themselves that they want a better future and a better education.  I love it.  And I saw them study their hearts out for an exam this week in order to witness what might have been their first glimpse of success.  Change is happening, and I am so blessed to be right there with them.  

• My family.  They love me through everything.  I don't know what else to say.  It's hard being so far away from all of them but I am so blessed that they are doing well.

• My friends.  I thought I knew what true friendship was, but then going through this last couple of months has taught me what it really means.  I know I haven't met everybody in the world, but I'm pretty dang sure Heavenly Father has purposefully surrounded me with some of his best, most loving children to uplift and support me.  

• The gospel of Jesus Christ.  My life would be in complete shambles right now without it.  I live in a place that proudly wears the title of "Sin City," and that saddens me.  Everyday, thousands of people flock to this place I now call home in search of some sort of escape or release from their everyday lives.  I'm grateful that I know exactly where to find all the comfort and escape I need from this world, and it's not by going to the Strip.  I love my Savior and am grateful that I know that no matter what I am going through, no matter how hard the trial may seem, He knows how to strengthen me through it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone :)

Be Careful What you Wish For...

I know I'm long-winded, but I like to write so here's my story:

When I first started out on this teaching endeavor, which I suppose isn't so much of an endeavor anymore but rather my career, I never could have imagined how attached I would get to my students.  As crazy as they are and as much as they like to talk while I'm talking, they have captured my heart already.  I didn't realize how much they had already affected me until this week when they cut my classes essentially in half.

Let me paint the picture for you:  The first 5 weeks of my first year teaching, I had anywhere from 44-50 students in each class period (227 total).  Yep, 50 8th graders...sitting in groups...trying to do labs and hands-on things.  It was insane for a lot of reasons but the thing that bugged me the most about it was the injustice it was doing to my students' education.  I only had desks for 43 so that meant that I would have as many as 7 students in a class literally sharing desks with others.  Students were sitting out in the far wings of my class or way at the back of the room, unable to see the board (the majority need glasses but cannot afford them).  My projector is placed on top of my lab table at the front of the room, right next to our document reader, because there is nowhere else to put it (the extension cords are in the sink...thank goodness a student has never turned that sink on!) therefore the size of the projection is very small, making it even harder to see.  If a student raised their hand to ask a question, it took me a considerable amount of time to wind my way from one end of the room to the other to answer it.  There was no way to ensure that everyone was on task because I simply can't see everywhere at once.  Even having 50 adults in a room, like in my UNLV classes, we aren't on task much of the time, so how can I expect that of 8th graders?  It was essentially crowd control.

At the end of my 4th week, our school found out we were not approved to get another science teacher from the district surplus.  I was told to not expect a change until possibly January.  I woke up at the beginning of last week, my 5th week, determined to advocate for my students and give them the best possible education, no matter what the circumstances were.  No more excuses, I just had to buck up and do it.

Along with my personal change of determination, I also started trying to get my spiritual life back in order, my priorities on straight, and I could feel the strength of the Lord to enable me to really reach my students.  Last week went well and I was pleased.

On Thursday afternoon, the asst principal came in and said to me, "I see you're still smiling, Ms. Jackson, just like you have since day 1."  I replied, "Well, there's no point in griping about something I can't change, I've just got to make the most of it."  He then said, "I think your smile is about to get a lot bigger."  He said they had found a new science teacher that would be starting Monday (yesterday).  I was very excited because it meant my classes would go down to the low 30's.  As I prepared to make the announcement to my classes on Friday, I had distinct flashbacks to China...I was in the same situation in China, having a large class that got reduced a couple weeks in.  When I told my kids there, they started jumping out of their seats to be moved out of my class.  Would it be the same?  Luckily it wasn't the same.  It was quite the opposite, actually.  They were begging to stay, writing me notes telling me why they deserved to stay in my class.  I laughed when some of them even started pointing at their friends and asking me to kick each other out instead of them.  I was grateful for the little reassurance I was given that even with all my shortcomings so far this school year and the large classes, I was still reaching my kids.

I showed up to school yesterday morning with no new roster printed, no new teacher across the hall, everything seemed normal.  Then during my first period prep, I started seeing my students one-by-one trickle into my room showing me their new schedules and asking me to sign off on their transfer grades...and they kept coming and coming, more and more of them.  Whoever didn't come in then, I received their new schedules and had to turn them away at the door, telling them they were no longer in my class.  I saw tears, literally.  I knew it would be better for their own education, but I was still feeling a gap...especially when I only had 22 students in 2nd period, as opposed to 45.

Now my classes range from 22 to 38.  It's weird.  I miss the students who got taken out, many of whom I was especially attached to already.  I'm excited for the chance I'll have to get to know my now 160 students on a much deeper level, but I will be keeping an eye on the others, checking up on them, making sure they are keeping up with their work.  I guess I learned to be careful what I wish for.


On a lighter note: I told my students I was out of jolly ranchers, hand sanitizer, and tissues last week.  You should have seen the looks on their faces!  They said, "Ms, you should just go to Costco!  You can get all that there and get lots of it!"  I told them I would but I didn't have a Costco card then Karla said, "My mom does!  You should just come with us!"  The next day, Karla came back into class and said, "Ms. Jackson, I asked my mom if you could come to Costco with us and she said yes so when do you want to go?"  Haha, I love them.

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Mind you, these are 8th graders I'm talking about.  And all these things actually came out of their mouths today on my first day in the classroom...  :)

"Ms. Jackson, are you Mexican?" (I did not tell my students I spoke Spanish, but after pronouncing several students' names perfectly one girl yelled that out.)

"Where did you go to school?"
"I went to BYU."
"Oh, isn't that a Christian school?  I'm Christian, too!"
...overheard some profanities and the same student yells, "Shut up, she's Christian!  She don't appreciate that!"

"Ms. Jackson, are you nice?"
"What do you think?"
"I'll let you know tomorrow."

And here's to looking forward to tomorrow...I wonder what the verdict is!

Shout Out to my Past Teachers

Tomorrow, it all begins.  I'm starting my career!  No longer do I need to look to the future for what I want to do, only for who I want to become.  It's a surreal feeling.

I would be incredibly ungrateful if I neglected to thank all my past teachers for giving me the best example possible of what it means to care about each student.  They are who I want to become.  I really did have some of the best teachers and mentors around.

Mrs. Craig and I, 3rd grade

From my days at Thorner with Ms. Beagle, Ms. Mayer, Mrs. VanWagoner, Mrs. Craig, Ms. Davenport (Schneider), Ms. Guzman, and Ms. Haggerty, I was taught how to treat others with respect and to not be content with mediocracy.

Mr. Fulenwider, 7th grade math

Mr. Stone, junior high band

Then I went on to Chipman where I learned from Mrs. Piper, Mr. Stone, Mr. Fulenwider, and Mrs. Edwards, among others, who taught me the finer points of being academically disciplined and exploring my emerging talents and interests.  I experienced even more growth at Highland with Ms. Snyder (Montanio), Sr. Davis, Sr. Mayberry, Mrs. Crosby, Mr. Boyle, Mrs. Press, Mrs. Jensen, Mr. Anderson, Mr. Rappleye, and Mrs. Ernst.  They mentored me through some of the most emotionally difficult years I have ever experienced and taught me to believe in myself when everything else seemed to be caving in.

Mr. Boyle and I, my music teacher for 4 years at Highland

Mrs. Ernst and I, 12th grade English

As I look at these wonderful examples in my life, I want to simply know one thing...How did you do it?  I never could have imagined just how much work goes into being a teacher, and I haven't even met my kids yet!  If I can be half as good as you, I will feel successful.  Thank you for being teachers.  Thank you for dedicating so many more hours than you get credit for to preparing kids like me.  There's a quote from one of my favorite books, Tuesdays With Morrie, that says, "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."  Your influence is still going on!

For those of you that I've lost touch with, I hope this can reconnect us.  I can't thank you enough for being the teachers you were/are.  I'm humbled to be able to call you my colleagues now.  Any and all pieces of advice/encouragement you have to offer would be greatly appreciated.  :)

Bring it on!

I thought I learned a long time ago not to take so much upon myself!  I guess I'm a slow learner...  :)

The contract has been signed, the salary agreed upon, the training completed, and the students registered.  Tomorrow, I get the keys to my first classroom, my first real job!  This week will be full of staff development meetings, setting up my room, and lesson planning to prepare for the 200+ 8th grade physical science students that will be entering my class in 1 week.  I've already decided that there is no chance I'm collecting daily homework from them (I will lose my mind way too quickly!).  Add onto that that the only other PhysSci teacher at my school is only just starting her second year in the classroom.  Welcome to Ms. Jackson's room, half of the class of 2017.

As if that's not stressful enough, try being a first year grad student as well!  I'll be pursuing my M.Ed. degree in Curriculum and Instruction.  Student and teacher simultaneously?  CAKE.

Oh yeah, and I'm getting really involved this year in HOBY Nevada...while still being one of the directors in HOBY Utah...

And when my principle heard about my experience with HOBY, she asked me to be in charge of the student council at our school.

Like I said, BRING IT ON!  And while I say that, here's what I'm really thinking...

P.S.  Please note the sarcasm in my over-confidence :)  I am not really that cocky.

Demystifying the Mormons

I think it is part of my calling in life to demystify who Mormons are.  Actually, I don't think it is, I know it is.  Coming into TFA, I spent a lot of time thinking about the relationships I would build with my students, but didn't realize that I would be forging such deep friendships among my fellow TFA corps members.  From day 1, I have felt like I have a huge stamp on my forehead that says "MORMON".  I couldn't hide it in conversations, even if I wanted to, because the first two questions people would ask are "Where are you from?" and "Where did you go to school?"  "I'm originally from California but now my family lives in Utah...and I went to BYU..."  Without even trying, the conversation would undoubtedly turn to being about BYU or Mormons or friends they had who are Mormon or missions or any number of other topics.  Sometimes I feel bad thinking that everybody must be sick of hearing from me by now, but the questions keep coming and I keep answering.

Seriously though, there is so much pure curiosity about my religion.  It's so mysterious to so many people, and I think a lot of that is due to the fact that too many Mormons have been trying to beat around the bush for too long about who we are.  That doesn't help!  I just give it to them straight.  That's the best way to go.  I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with the words to say to be able to articulate what I believe.  I'm also grateful to my new friends here for allowing me to be so open about what I believe and for supporting my resolve to not compromise my standards.  The conversation lines are open, and it is a blessing knowing that my new friends trust me enough to ask me  absolutely anything they are curious to know.

So, if you are one of my TFA friends, or any other friend who has curiosities about Mormons, please ask me.  I will give it to you straight.  Let me help you demystify it.  If you are curious to know more after that, I'd be glad to help you even more (or you can go to www.mormon.org).  But if not, it's not a big deal, I'm still your friend.  Just know that the invitation is always open.

One of the Kids

Sometimes, I feel like a little kid.  I mean, come on, I'm a grown up professional?  with a real job?  moving into a real house of my own?  Yeah, it's a little hard for me to comprehend.  I'm a teacher!  I won't necessarily say that I'm a full-fledged teacher yet, because my hand is basically being held through this entire TFA process and the paychecks don't start coming until September BUT! a teacher nonetheless.

Remember when teachers used to say, "Well, when you're a teacher, then you can do whatever you want" (like stand on the desk or make the rules or whatever).  That day has come :)

I still use little plastic tile manipulatives to figure out math problems, I like it when people tell me I'm doing a good job, I love writing on whiteboards, I get on the big yellow school bus every morning with my red lunchpail in hand, I love stickers (especially "teacher stickers"), and I loved it when one of the staff members, modeling a reward technique we can do with our students, made a positive phone call home to my mom.

It's a good thing I'm a teacher.  When I'm with my kids, I feel right at home.

Some things never change.

Easier said than done.

I'm always talking about how important it is to look at difficult situations with a positive attitude...well, I guess it's time for me to take my own advice.  I've just begun a 5-week intensive training for Teach For America in Los Angeles and it is rough!  Imagine an entire undergrad double majoring in both sociology and education, including your student teaching, all crammed into 5 weeks.  I think I listened to people talk to me for 12 hours today about everything ranging from the achievement gap in education to racial inequity to fraction/decimal conversions to lesson planning and vision setting...and I still have no idea how I'm supposed to carry out the assignment they gave me.  Frustrated?  Yes.  But then I thought back to a similar situation I went through in the MTC at the start of my mission.  I wish I had my mission journal with me, but it suffices to know that I did it then, so I can do it now.

I'm so grateful for my mission every day of my life.  Here's to a better attitude tomorrow!

These are the people who help me make it through each day.  Love my new LV family.

Summer Anthems

I'm all about summer.  I love this season, even in Bakersfield, Jersey, Vegas, it doesn't matter to me.  There are a lot of people that talk about how much they want summer to come (like when it's freezing outside) but then once it's here they hate it.  Not me!

Sno-cones, lemonade, water slides, sunshine, ceiling fans (I love those!), slip n slides, street fairs, farmers markets, strawberries, barbecues, fireworks, tans, swimming, popsicles/otter pops (basically anything icy), baseball...the list could go on and on as to why I love summer.  BUT, there is one thing that boosts my mood like nothing other...SUMMER ANTHEMS.  You know the songs I'm talking about; the ones you roll the windows down to, open up the sunroof, and go cruising down the street singing at the top of your lungs.  That's right, nothing beats a good summer anthem.

So here's my summer anthem for 2012:

Summer Paradise, by Simple Plan featuring K'Naan

And in case you're interested, some of my past summer anthems have included

Brighter Than the Sun, by Colbie Caillat

Summer Nights, by Rascal Flatts

Summertime, by Kenny Chesney

Summer Girl, by Jessica Andrews

Happy Summer!

"That depends on where you want to get to..."

My mind has been in 50 different directions lately: good, bad, and everything in between.  I'm going to attempt to explain a little bit of what's been happening in the hopes that it can help someone, somewhere, whether or not they are directly reading this blog.

Direction 1:  BLAST!  Bored.  Lonely.  Angry.  Stressed.  Tired.  Those 5 ingredients are triggers for temptation to come in and take over.  While I've always felt and known that coming out to California was the right thing to do, it has not been easy.  I was only able to find 1 part-time job.  Money-wise, it's hard but not impossible.  Time-wise, it's even harder.  I only work 4 hours/day in the afternoon...so that leaves all morning free.  Sounds like a charmed life, right?  Not really, not when you're me, at least.  I'm a DOER.  I love to be doing things and quite honestly, there's only so much to do in the mornings.  I can only go wander around the mall so many times (because I inevitably end up spending money), watch so many movies, go to the temple so often.  So that leaves time for BLAST to set in.  Let me tell you now, do not allow yourself to be found bored, lonely, angry, stressed, or tired.  Satan knows how to work against your weaknesses and he knows how to help you "justify in committing a little sin" (2 Nephi 28:8).  I've experienced this all too frequently lately, and it is not worth it.

Direction 2:  "Just keep swimming..."  I got to teach Relief Society last week on Elder Robert D. Hales' talk from April 2012 General Conference titled, "Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple, and Sacrifice in Service."  At one point in the talk he says, "No blessings will be withheld if we faithfully endure in walking the path back to our Heavenly Father."  Heavenly Father doesn't care how fast we are moving or how steep of a hill we are climbing, he just wants us to keep going, keep moving, keep climbing, because as soon as we stop, Satan has better aim.

Direction 3:  Excitement/Anticipation/Getting ready to move to Vegas!  Sometimes when I think about it too much, I get overwhelmed or paralyzed at the thought of all I should be doing, but then I realize that there's not a whole lot I can do yet, so I just have to stop my mind and take a break from over-analyzing the big changes coming up for me.  However, in preparation for what I will be doing out there, I just finished reading The Freedom Writers Diary and it was incredible.  I highly recommend it or the movie :)

Direction 4:  Missionary work.  The only people I know in this town are my friends from church and the kids I work with.  Since it would not be appropriate for me to directly share the gospel at work, I've been praying for other ways to relight the fire that I once had.  Last week, I was blessed with multiple opportunities to very easily and naturally let the kids know that I'm a Mormon.  For example, one girl mentioned that she saw me on her street and asked what I was doing and I replied, "I was passing out flyers for a canned food drive at my church."  The door opened right up for her to ask what church I went to, to which I could give my response.  I may not be able to tell them a whole lot more than that at work, nor am I allowed to have communication with them outside of work, but just having them know what my religion is will hopefully leave a good impression on them and a seed can be planted for the future.

Direction 5:  Service.  Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to go down to Sacramento and help participate in the Mormon Helping Hands statewide day of service.  All the congregations throughout the state of California volunteered thousands of man hours volunteering in various community service projects.  We held a canned food drive here along with various park clean-ups and school clean-ups.  In Sacramento, over 2000 people spent several hours cleaning up a downtown high school.  We all donned the signature yellow Helping Hands jerseys and did everything from cutting ivy out of the dugout to painting the curbs.  Everywhere you looked, there were crowds of people cleaning or fixing something.  Dead branches were being cut down and hauled out, windows were washed, weeds were pulled, flowers and trees were planted, gum was scraped off every sidewalk and I LOVED it!  It was just what I needed, something productive to keep me busy!  :)  When they handed me the yellow jersey, I felt so honored to be a part of it.  As I put it on, I realized that this was the first time since my mission that I've been allowed to wear the name of the Church on my clothing, and it felt good.  We were doing something for a good cause and getting our name out there in a positive light.

I think that's enough directions for now.  I tried to mainly focus on the positive, mostly to remind myself that even in the hardest of times, there is plenty of good to be found.

Maybe the length of this post proves I should blog more often...  :)

Bucket List

I once had a teacher ask me to write my own obituary.  My natural reaction was, "That's weird."  Then I thought about it more and found it to be really motivating.  Where did I want my life to go?  What kind of impact did I want to have on others?  How did I want them to remember me?

Those simple questions inspired me to write a bucket list.  I've entitled my list "100 Things to Do Before I Die."  There are currently 61 things on it.  The rest are what I like to call "goals of the subconscious mind."  You know all those times when you do something really neat and you say, "I've always wanted to do this!" but really it hadn't consciously crossed your mind before?  Yep, well, I decided that I can still put those on my Bucket List even after and then write about them...thus allowing myself to continue filling the last 39 spaces...and more if I want.

I have all sorts of things on my Bucket List!  Everything from the very serious (receive my endowments) to the very superfluous (milk a cow, get in a food fight).  I've got goals for places I want to go (Greece, Disneyworld, etc), things I want to see (a play on Broadway, the 7 wonders of the new world), and people I want to meet (Mia Hamm).  I have selfish goals (be pictured in the Ensign) and selfless ones (donate $2000 to a charity, be a foster mom).  There are things I want to experience (zero gravity, the Olympics live), do (be a street musician for a day, write a book),  and learn (pottery, swing dancing).  Someone once asked me what my most important goal is on my Bucket List.  Well, I can't disclose my #1 goal until I die :) but I can share some other high priorities.  I'd love to be a motivational speaker for something and pay for somebody's mission.  They have nothing to do with eating ice cream atop the Eiffel Tower or seeing a sumo wrestling match in Japan, but of all my 61 goals written down (on a powerpoint, no less...yes, I'm a nerd :) ), those are very important to me. 

I saw these guys on the Today Show the other day and loved it!  They wrote a book about their experiences and it's called What Do You Want to De Before You Die?  Check out this video: 

So, what do YOU want to do before you die?

Jumping In...Head First?

Wow!  I haven't updated this in quite some time...

I'm in California!  Moved here a couple of weeks ago to live with an old mission companion (Crystle) who had an extra space in her apartment.  People asked me before coming out here, "Why are you moving to California?"  Why not?  or Because I can.  "Do you have a job out there?"  No.  Haha.  But so far I have been quite happy with the move.  I feel like this move was much needed.

My life here?  It's great.  The first week or so was rough, mainly because I hate being at the mercy of others to facilitate my social life but that just encouraged me to be faster at making friends.  My friends are so awesome!  Funny, I don't actually see Crystle much...she's always working or talking on the phone with her boyfriend in Idaho but it's all good, we still get our time.  I spend most of my time hanging out with my other roommate Rachel, Crystle's little sister Amber, and a friend from my branch Andrea.  Seriously, some of the best people around!  We have laughed together so hard it makes me almost pass out...multiple times!  Haha.  Love it.

My branch is pretty small (especially on Super Bowl Sunday) but I like it!  It makes it much easier to get to know people, which is nice.  My first Sunday here I was asked to give the opening prayer in Sacrament Meeting, then by the time church was over, I had a calling!  I'm a Relief Society teacher.  I'm actually really excited about it because it will be a challenge for me and it will help me in my scripture study to have more focus.

I found a job within a week of getting here, which was a huge blessing.  I work at an after-school program at a middle school in town.  The thing I like the most about it is that I'm learning so much about the current issues facing this age group and how to handle them.  It's going to be so helpful when I get my own classroom of middle school kids this fall in Vegas.  I have the perfect job!

While I'm loving the one job I have, it is only part-time and I am therefore still trying to find another source of income to help me survive this next couple of months.  Hence, now introducing: MJ's Tailoring and Alterations!  I've got quite a few customers already so it's working out pretty well for me.

I think I've hit all the main points of my life out here so far.  Oh!  One more thing...there's this little diner outside of town that has about 150 milkshake flavors on their menu...it has become our goal to try all of them (or at least, all the ones we want to try...we'll be avoiding black licorice...)  The four of us like to go at the same time and each get different flavors so that knocks off 4 at a time.  Last time our friend Richard was brave enough to get the bacon flavored milkshake so we all got to try it.  Maple bacon next?  Haha.  I've had carmel apple, peanut butter apple, peanut butter marshmallow, white chocolate raspberry, cloud 9 (made with white chocolate, marshmallow, and golden oreos), and others (don't worry, exercise ensues :)  I think we'll make a movie of our experience...

The Choice to Be Grateful

The December 2011 Ensign (a magazine produced by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) is filled with stories of the birth of Christ and how it blesses our lives each day.  I found it particularly interesting that the First Presidency message in the beginning was about gratitude.  President Eyring says, "Sometimes it is hard for us to be sufficiently grateful for the greatest gifts we receive: the birth of Jesus Christ, His Atonement, the promise of the resurrection, the opportunity to enjoy eternal life with our families, the Restoration of the gospel with the priesthood and its keys....We all can make the choice to give thanks in prayer and to ask God for direction to serve others for Him--especially during this time of year when we celebrate the Savior's birth."

The end of the message contains a "gratitude challenge" to write 100 things we are grateful for, broken down into 10 categories of 10 each.  So here's my list.  I encourage you all to do the same as you prepare for this Christmas season.

1. Write 10 physical abilities you are grateful for.
1. Walking around
2. My fainting spells have significantly decreased
3. I can run!...in moderation :)
4. The chance to sleep every night
5. My mental capacity to learn (that's physical, right?)
6. My foot and shoulder healed ok after being hit by the car on my mission
7. I am physically able to serve others
8. I never have to go hungry
9. Playing soccer
10. Swimming
2. Write 10 material possessions you are grateful for.
1. Sewing machine
2. Winter coat
3. Laptop
4. Cell phone
5. My car
6. My parent's piano
7. Digital camera
8. Shoes
9. Banana chair
10. Video camera
3. Write 10 living people you are grateful for. (more like 10 living groups of people...haha  :)
1. Mom and Dad (I know that's 2...but I'm grateful for LOTS of people)
2. My brothers (Chris, Michael, Malcolm)
3. President Thomas S. Monson
4. Tri-family :)
5. Roommates (Susie, Katie, Bailey, Betsy, Melissa)
6. Companions from the mission (Emi, Crystle, Leslie, Kassi, Rebecca, Lorina, Priscila)
7. Bishop and Sister Heiss
8. Karen Ernst
9. Marsha Green and co-workers (Sarah, Carley, Heidi, April)
10. President and Sister Bahr
11. This may be illegal to have a #11, but I'm grateful for YOU because you care to read my random blog :)
4. Write 10 deceased people you are grateful for.
1. Jesus Christ
2. Anthony (my brother)
3. Papa Chuck
4. Joseph Smith
5. Eve (yes, as in Adam and Eve :)
6. Gordon B. Hinckley
7. Lupita Arenas
8. Cassee Pitts
9. Heath Ledger
10. and Freud (haha)
5. Write 10 things about nature you are grateful for.
1. Pine trees
2. Warmth
3. Mountains
4. Sea otters (they're in nature...that counts, right?)
5. Inspiration I get when I'm in nature
6. Irises
7. Streams
8. Photosynthesis
9. Most animals I encounter on a daily basis don't want to eat me
10. Freshly fallen snow
6. Write 10 things about today you are grateful for.
1. Finishing my bachelor's degree
2. Hanging out with co-workers
3. Kneaders all-you-can-eat French toast
4. Sappily cute holiday movies on Lifetime
5. Hot chocolate
6. Great music (thank you Beyonce, Lil Wayne, and Jay Sean haha)
7. Finishing my roommate's wedding dress
8. Friends who text me
9. MarioKart
10. I have been graced with the presence of my roommates :)
7. Write 10 places on earth you are grateful for.
1. Temples
2. Home :)
3. Disneyland
4. California, in general
5. New Jersey!
6. Hefei, China
7. North Pole (but only if Santa is there)
8. Bakersfield
9. American Fork
10. Temple Square
8. Write 10 modern inventions you are grateful for.
1. Microwaves
2. Internet
3. Airplanes
4. Running water
5. Toilets
6. DVD's/DVD players
7. Whiteboards
8. Pandora
9. Electricity
10. Blenders
9. Write 10 foods you are grateful for.
1. Pizza
2. Chocolate
3. No-bake cookies
4. Green beans
5. Papa a la huancayina
6. Pasta
7. In 'N Out
8. Mangos
9. Taquitos
10. Yogurt
10. Write 10 things about the gospel you are grateful for.
1. Birth of Jesus Christ
2. Priesthood blessings
3. Eternal families
4. Book of Mormon and other scriptures
5. Living prophet
6. Repentance
7. Gift of the Holy Ghost
8. Mission!/Missionary work
9. Plan of Salvation
10. Indexing/Genealogy

So there you have it!  Good luck with your own list.  Merry Christmas!

Who Knew So Much Could Happen in One Short Year?

One year ago today, this is what I looked like:

Since then, SO MUCH has happened!

I went horseback riding...

...went back to school (and watched Jimmer play LIVE)...

...did my 8th year of HOBY...

...saw my best friend get married...

...changed my career goal from school counseling to teaching...

(haha, like I have a picture for this)

...went back to visit New Jersey...

...made a Relief Society movie...

...did my first ever photography job for a wedding...

...participated in graduation ceremony at BYU...

...decided to dust off the trumpet and do marching band again...

...got in a food fight (pudding, eggs, mashed potatoes, flour, melted ice cream, applesauce, rice, etc :)...

...was pictured on lds.org...

...went horseback riding again...

...applied for and got accepted to Teach For America!...

...sold my contract to move out to Auburn, followed by Las Vegas for my full-time teaching job...

...visited my new niece in northern California...

...and finished my last semester of undergraduate work at Brigham Young University!

Who would've thought?  As hard as this year was (trust me, adjusting back from the mission is NOT easy), it was filled with experiences I needed to help me learn and grow.  I'm excited for the opportunities I have ahead of me to fulfill the BYU motto and "Go forth to serve."  

I hope that everyone takes the time this season to reflect on the changes and experiences that have happened in your life over the last year.  Whether these changes were good or bad, they were necessary to make you who you need to become.  I firmly believe that "all these things shall give [us] experience and shall be for [our] good" (D&C 122:7)  Have a very Merry Christmas!

Thanks. Giving. is here.

It's a day of thanks, it's a day of giving, it's Thanksgiving.  Here is my absolute favorite Thanksgiving song.  Must listen to this today!

I have so much to be grateful for.  I don't need to bore you all with my gratitude list but I hope everyone makes one today.  The last 2 Thanksgivings I had were celebrated on my mission in New Jersey.  I'm so grateful for the time I had there and for the lessons I learned which have greatly blessed and enriched my life since.  Enjoy this video and have a Happy Thanksgiving.  Feliz dia del pavo!

Big Words

Vocabulary has never been a strong point of mine.  The only words I actually remember from all those vocab tests in school are vex and effervescent.  Oh wait, I think I also had juxtapose, plethora, and myriad as vocab words as well.  That makes 5.  As a university student, I've been exposed to a myriad of new words and phrases, many of which I've heard multiple times in a plethora of classes but they just don't seem to stick in my head.  Words like machiavellianism, empirical (ok I lied...that one finally sunk in this semester...), heuristic, catharsis, hedonism...the list goes on.  Maybe one of these days I'll get it...or I'll graduate, whichever comes first :)

But anyway, my freshman year we discussed the concept of existentialism in one of my classes.  I don't remember what was said but I remember thinking, "Hey, I'm an existentialist!"  It was a great revelation for me.  Unfortunately, if ever I told people, I could never back it up with why because I didn't know what one was, I just knew I was one.  Well, once again this concept is coming to surface in a class this semester.  Maybe this time I will actually remember long-term what it means.  For now, here's my idea of it:

• We each have the responsibility to make our lives meaningful and to live it passionately and sincerely.
• We have the power to rise up out of our circumstances and become better.
• We should be authentic in our actions and understand that different actions have different consequences or value.
• In order to have full meaning to life, we must understand and accept death.

The last point is particularly interesting to me.  Several years ago, I had an assignment in one of my classes to write my own obituary.  Most of the students kind of shuddered at the thought of that but i was excited for it (I know, I'm weird, but just go with it).  As I wrote it, I found myself really contemplating what I wanted the purpose of my life to be.  It helped me set goals for the kind of life I wanted to live so that people would be able to say those things about me in my obituary.  So I gained more meaning in my life by understanding death.  Anyway, just a thought.  

Whether you're an existentialist or not, it doesn't make much of a difference to me.  But this philosophy has helped me to figure things out.  Next time the professor is using big words, I hope I can remember what they mean...  :)

A Useless Pile of Bricks?

The Provo Tabernacle was a beautiful icon here in the Utah Valley.  Built with the blood, sweat, and tears of the first pioneers to settle here in the 1870's, it had a rich history.  I personally loved visiting that building.  I did photography shoots there because of the beauty of the outside red brick walls and the expansive lawn out to the side.  My stake held Stake Conference there in February 2009 and I was involved in numerous choir concerts that took place in the tabernacle for the BYU Women's Chorus.  Here are some of the shots I have from my memories there:

Just a little over a week after I got home from my mission last December, I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law out in California when I got a text from a friend of mine telling me that the Provo Tabernacle was on fire!  I couldn't believe it.  I immediately googled it and, sure enough, found videos and photos of the historic blaze.  I'll admit, I think I remember crying.  

For months, the Provo Tabernacle sat in ruins on the street corner, reminding us all of its tragic demise.  We wondered what they would do with it; to us it seemed like there was no option but to tear it down.  The amount of distress it went through left it a useless pile of bricks.  

What we didn't know during all of this was that the Lord was planning something much greater and more beautiful for the remains of this tabernacle.  In this most recent General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, announced that plans were underway to use the structure of the Provo Tabernacle to become a temple, a house of the Lord.  What an incredible announcement!  It will now become something more glorious than the pioneers could have ever imagined.

This story was related today in my stake conference by the stake president.  He compared it to the power of the Atonement of Christ.  Sometimes, we have to go through incredible trials in our lives.  These often leave us feeling lower than the dirt, like a useless pile of bricks on a street corner.  But the Lord knows what we can become.  He always knew the Tabernacle would become a temple, he was just waiting for us to figure it out.  The same applies in our lives.  No matter how low we feel, he can make us greater than we ever could have imagined.  The rebuilding process may be slow and it may be hard, but it will be worth it.  His Atonement heals us and gives us ennabling power to be instruments in His hands. 

Thanks for that analogy, President Mullen.  It's something that I hope will stick with me forever.